What’s a NPH?
— My mother, talking about the opening of The 2010 Oscars, after seeing it written on my Twitter.
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I don’t know how the hell I ended up watching Jimmy Kimmell last night, but there it was, on my TV after everyone left my low-key Oscar spectacular (in which I won the Oscar pool, thank you very much).
Now, I haven’t seen too much Kimmell…well…ever, but I have enjoyed his videos when they’ve come to me through the World Wide Web (Huzzah, Matt Damon), and, again, this new one from yesterday does not disappoint. Ah, to be handsome…and famous…and hilarious… a boy can dream.
Oscar, meet Alex
Ah, The Oscars, my favorite night of television (besides…you know…every Tuesday for Lost). The awards, the speeches, the music, the performances, the lights, the people…
I know, it can be so boring that you want to kill yourself by choking on popcorn…the only humane way to go.
That’s why I always bet on the damn thing. Not a lot ($5 entrance, whoever gets the most right wins), but it makes everything SO MUCH more interesting. The night begins to feel like a lot like you’re playing BINGO (“Aw, they didn’t call my Cinematography. That’s ok, I’m feeling really good about Documentary Short. Come on Documentary Short!”). It makes the whole event worth watching.
So, in the spirit of that, I give you my full picks for tomorrow’s ceremony (I’ll go down the list on the official ballot, in case you want to compare…or just cheat and copy mine):
ALEX’S OFFICIAL OSCAR PICKS
Leading Actor: Jeff Bridges (‘Crazy Heart’) – Not even a question. He was unbelievable as down on his luck (and fame) Bad Blake.
Supporting Actor: Christopher Waltz (‘Inglourious Basterds’) - …even better than Jeff Bridges! This was another easy pick. Waltz’ performance was the best I saw all year.
Leading Actress: Sandra Bullock (‘The Blind Side’) – While it could easily go to Meryl (again), I have to go with Sandra. This really was her year…plus Hollywood seems to love her.
Supporting Actress: Mo’Nique (‘Precious’) – If you had told me last year that the star of “Phat Girlz,” “Soul Plane” and “Farce of the Penguins” would be the frontrunner for an Oscar, I would have slapped you. But hey, that’s Hollywood.
Animated Feature: ‘Up’ – Look, I loved ‘Coraline’ and ‘Fantastic Mr. Fox’ was one of the best films I saw last year, but never bet against Pixar in this category. That’s just crazy.
Art Direction: ‘Avatar’ – Like there was any other choice.
Cinematography: ‘Avatar’ – Again…
Costume Design: ‘The Young Victoria’ – If I learned anything from my decades of watching this ceremony, it’s that royalty + costumes = win.
Directing: Kathryn Bigelow (‘Hurt Locker’) – She’s only the fourth woman to ever be nominated, and I guarantee she’ll be the first to win. I’d say this would stick it to her ex-husband, James Cameron, and his terrible terrible movie, but I’m hoping Best Picture will do that.
Documentary Feature: ‘The Cove’ – It could go to ‘Food, Inc.,’ which I loved, but it didn’t compare to this incredibly awesome/sad/touching/depressing/eye-opening film about the mass slaughter of dolphins… Always go with the awesome/sad/touching/depressing/eye-opening film.
Documentary Short: ‘China’s Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province’ – I have no idea, I didn’t see any of them. I’m going with the one that has the most depressing title. That’s usually a good bet.
Film Editing: ‘The Hurt Locker’ – This film had the best dialogue, cuts and scenes I saw all year. I’m hoping Hollywood agrees with me (and wasn’t overwhelmed with 3-D…ugh).
Foreign Language Film: ‘The White Ribbon’ – If you get a chance, see this film. It blew me away.
Makeup: ‘Star Trek’ – I was hoping it would get a Best Picture nom (really, ‘The Blind Side?’ Really?), but I guess we’ll go with makeup instead.
Original Score: ‘Up’ – I’m not giving it best song, so this will have to do instead.
Original Song: “The Weary Kind (Theme from ‘Crazy Heart’)” – This movie has the BEST music I heard in a film all year, and I’m not even a country fan (I know everyone says that, but for a reason - most of it is just awful.)
Short Film Animated: ‘A Matter of Loaf and Death’ – It’s Wallace and Gromit! Wallace and Gromit!!!
Short Film Live Action: ‘Kavi’ – Since I didn’t see any of them, I’m going with the only one I’ve heard of.
Sound Editing: ‘Star Trek’ – Someone once told me this award always goes to the loudest movie…we will see if that’s true.
Sound Mixing: ‘Avatar’ – I probably should have given Sound Editing to ‘Avatar’ too, but hey, I’m a gambler.
Visual Effects: ‘Avatar’ – Please see the condensing comments from Art Direction and Cinematography, then multiply by a billion.
Screenplay Adapted: ‘Up in the Air’ – I’m still not sure if I should feel enlightened or depressed by this film, but I do know it was a wonderful script.
Screenplay Original: ‘’Inglourious Basterds’ – This one may kick me in the ass. I’m so torn between ‘Hurt Locker’ and ‘Inglorious Basterds,’ but I think it’s got to go to Quinton. The man re-wrote WW2 and literally shot Hitler in the face…over and over and over. Awesome.
And for the final picture of the night:
Best Picture: ‘The Hurt Locker’ – If it’s ‘Avatar,’ I’m going to kill a kitten. Do you want me to kill a kitten, Hollywood? DO YOU!!!!
So I’d love to see your picks and how they stack up against mine (Agree? Disagree? Indifferent and wondering why you’re reading this post?) Throw them in the comment section and we’ll start some angry online Oscar flame wars!!!!
And remember, if you’ve got nowhere else to go, you’re more than invited to my low-key Oscar party. We’ve got chips, beer, a TV…I think we’re doing alright.
See you at the ceremony.
Alex and Scott Save the World
The Internet is a wicked, horrilble, sinful tool that should be cast down into the bowls of hell! THE BOWLS OF HELL I SAY!!!
On a related and happier note, a few days ago I found Xtranormal and it may be the best thing I’ve ever seen. This site lets you make little cartoon movies just by typing in a script and giving your characters some actions. Of course, because everything is jerky and everyone has robot voices, it all looks a bit awkward.
I then took this awkwardness up to a new level by making a video for my good friend Scott. He upped the ante with a new video full of sexual harassment and curse words for me and so on.
And now, we have a blog…
Truth.
- Me: What's the prettiest animal.
- Allison: I don't know. A dolphin?
- Me: A dolphin! They're all slimy and will hump you.
- Allison: Every animal is slimy and will hump you!
#87 - "Frankenstein"
FilmThis has a monster of a good time while watching, mocking and loving 1931’s “Frankenstein.” Read all about it (plus, enjoy a hilarious video), by clicking above.
